Too busy to have personal, private time and space!

These days are that busy that no time was available to be alone and not much space to relax! The day begins with getting ready for the Mass at the parish at Thycaud, followed by skipping through the dailies for some time. By the time there will be people to see me for one reason or other! Even lunch could not be in time. Again in the office till 5 p.m. by then i must be running to the college where they give assignments and seminars besides the test paper and the university semester exams. Reaching back, i would be tired that it won't be possible to read or do any serious work. That is how i am running out rather! I must relax and rest to replenish and refresh. Must find time to read and reflect.

These days, i experience strong impulses of faith negating thoughts and tendencies. I don't think i will be fitting in the ecclesial structure! Should i not opt for some free air at least at my age of crossing the middle age! The seemingly unharmful people don't seem to be just and truthful, but seem to have their interests to safegaurd! Where does Jesus' vulnerability be seen among any of them!

The poor still suffer! The rich are always in the company of the church hierarchy and both are at ease with one another and are in connivence to exploit them in one way or other.

Everyone is security conscious and the church provides it so well to the otherwise insecure priests and they are comfortably subservient to the authorities who throw away crumps or bones to them! And they are kept inactive for quite some time!

These people don't ever like rights to be demanded; but are happy when others beg for charity! They can't think of the freedom of the children of God! They can't tolerate equality, can't digest Jesus calling his disciples friends! They will never ever understand the mystery of incarnation, God becoming man and God exhorting everyone to be holy as his heavenly father is holy.

When Jesus himself let go for the passion and death, the church will never let it go and die as a grain of wheat so as to give a hundred fold, fifty or even thirty! The prefer to remain a idol and idols they love and like and ultimately become one so!

Evey one is selfish enough and the only difference is Jesus who gave up his life for his friends,nay even his 'enemies!' And we are asked to follow him upto Calvary and thereafter to the glory of resurrection.

Jesus who was never a priest was made high priest by the lone epistle, Hebrews! The memory he commended to his disciples was adulterated to such an extent it has no similiarity whatsoever with his! And that has become a source of livelihood to the so called priests and they have conveniently made it high and low besides solemn and ordinary! It was clad with royal paraphernalias when Jesus died on the cross almost bare, even at the Last supper he had not that much of dress other than what he wore! When it has to be a spontaneous outpouring of love, why should it be made into a recital of 'prayers' seemingly written by heartless, soulless people of anitquity! The language, the theology all are obsolete and outdated. It has no relevance to the people for whom it is claimed to have been offered.

Only the twelve matters and the seventy are conveniently forgotten, and especially the women disciples like the one of the stature of Mary Magdelene! When there was only one Peter/ Pope, why should there be so many bishops and each one as powerful as the one in top?

The collegiality is a farce, a devise to cheat and fool people. Infalliblity is what even the last in the ladder, the priest in any of the small village even claims! They always go for the undeserved, and the theology behind is that God always called the unworthy!

Power,positions and possessions were the hall mark of the clergy! They claim poverty and live luxury, claim celibacy and discard it at all possible instances, obedience is only to their ego and ignorance!

They easily the forget the root they come from and behave in such a way that they do not even recognize their own! Responsibility and accountability is not their cup!

Let us hope that Jesus and his teaching in its purity will privail over one day and that is going to the clarion call of the Kingdom. Let all who earn this be ready for the greatest of price which is what the master himself paid. And that is what is going to be the Cost of the Discipleship, the Cross.